


Brain on crack

by agnessan



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Awesome Molly, Awesome Molly Hooper, F/M, Falling In Love, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9677846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agnessan/pseuds/agnessan
Summary: All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage. Sherlock Holmes knew all this. Molly Hooper, the only person who could see behind the shells of Sherlock Holmes."I love you."What now?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been uncertain about if I should publish this or not ... I'm really trying to write better, make my english better and I've been working hard with this. The best would be if I could have someone beta read my works, so if anyone is interested – contact me! I hope you like this story, it may be an one shot or if I feel like it, a couple of more chapters. I'm also working on some other stuff that will be published soon, I hope.
> 
> Btw, if you have any critic on this story, please let me know!

**_Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I do not own these characters unfortunately ... All credit to Steve Moffat, Mark Gatiss and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle._ **

_All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage._

Sherlock Holmes knew all this. Mycroft had made sure he didn’t forget it. For this Sherlock was grateful, because caring was dangerous, it made you weak. Then he met John Watson, he realized that having someone that you can trust, someone that you can relay on – that is a risk worth taking. He had believed that aloneness protected him. But for once – Sherlock Holmes was wrong. But there was one thing that still remained the same.

Love was a dangerous disadvantage, for everyone around him and for himself. It weakened people and put people at risk. _Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side._

John Watson may be his best friend, and of course he trusted him, but only to a limit. He did disappear for two years while John was left with the belief that he was dead. He also let John believe he had lost it while working on the Mr Culverton Smith case. But there was one person who always knew the truth. One person who from the outside seemed to not matter at all, but if you did your deduction thoroughly, you would be surprised to see that that was the person who mattered the most.

Molly Hooper, the only person who could see behind the shells of Sherlock Holmes.

  _”I love you.”_

Three small words he had promised himself that he would never say out loud. But once again, there she was, Molly Hooper – challenging him, and like always, she won. She always had the last word and somehow that felt good. It was a relief, but also a frustration. He had lost. He knew it, maybe even before Eurus said so. Everything inside him broke. He couldn’t stand it.

Sherlock Holmes loved Molly Hooper and he had no idea what to do about it.

 

. . .

 

Always. Sherlock Holmes always found a way to hurt her. She was stronger these days, she could handle it better and she could see thru his hurtful words. But it still did hurt her, and this time she wondered if she could forgive him . . . Bugger, who was she kidding. Molly Hooper always forgave Sherlock Holmes. It was just the way things were. It always had been that way, and probably always would be. If that was a good or a bad thing, she had no idea …

 ”Molly,” His voice woke her up. She tried to shut it out, but she felt his presence in the room. ”Molly, I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

He stood beside her, she kept her eyes closed. She knew he know that she was awake. Slowly he bended down and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She still had her eyes closed. Couldn’t find the courage to face him, not just yet. Then she heard him disappear from the room. The door closed behind him and she fell asleep again.

The next morning when she walked into the kitchen there was a figure asleep at her couch. A small smile appeared on her lips. His dark curls were messy and his face peaceful, he looked so young, so vulnerable. She made herself a cup of coffee and then carried another cup over to him. When she sat down in the armchair next to the couch he was awake.

 ”Good morning,” he said and sat up, reached for the coffee and took a sip. ”Thank you.”

Molly was quiet. She still had a lot to process, wasn’t sure yet if she had forgiven him.

 ”I don’t know if I can take it anymore,” she said, her voice sounded steadier than it felt. ”This time it was too much. It has hurt me to deep. I don’t know Sherlock.”

When he locked up and met her gaze his eyes were filled with fear. He slowly shook his head.

 ”Molly, I need you.”

Those three words. God, it made her feel so much, so deep. _He needed her._ The question was, did she need him?

 ”I don’t know if I need you, if I ever have needed you.”

She could see the pain in his eyes when she uttered those words. Then he collected himself, sat straight up in the couch, fixed her gaze.

 ”You may not need me, but please say that you still want me?”

It shocked her. He knew how she felt. He had always knew, hadn’t he? If she wanted him? Yes, of course she did. She always had, she always would.

 ”Do you want me?”

A challenge. She always challenged him.

 ”I love you.”

Well, she hadn’t expected that. What now?

 

. . .

 

After all, he still was Sherlock Holmes, what had she been expecting? Compliments, flowers or maybe just a change …

In fact, Molly had been expecting him too change, at least a bit. After he had said those three words she had thought he already had changed. She knew he loved her, maybe not the same way other people loved, but still – Sherlock Holmes loved Molly Hooper, that was a fact. The way he choose to show it may not be the way most people would show it, but he still was Sherlock Holmes, it was his way or no way. And he really didn’t care about how things should be or shouldn’t be done.

 ”Do you really want to be with me?” Molly asked.

It was saturday morning, they was laying in bed, curled up with each other under a fluffy white blanket. Mollys head rested on his chest and their bodies were limp after a night of lovemaking, or intercourse as Sherlock would say. But, Molly liked to think of it as lovemaking.

 ”Based on the fact that we are laying in bed naked and that we just engaged in intercourse a few minutes ago. I would say that should prove that I do indeed want to be with you.”

 ”It doesn’t prove if you want to be with me outside the bed.”

 ”Doesn’t it? But I do say _I love you_ , shouldn’t that prove it?”

 ”Maybe.”

Molly sat up and Sherlock gave her a confused look.

 ”I don’t understand?”

 ”Of course you don’t,” Molly said while she slipped out of bed and walked out from the room. She was naked, but she didn't care. She needed to be alone and she needed a shower.

He didn’t follow her.

She hadn’t expected him too.

Sometimes Sherlock was like a child, totally clueless of things he never bothered to learn about, or care about. His lack of social skills usually didn’t bother her, but he was a crappy boyfriend. Well, he wasn’t her boyfriend, or was he? She didn't know because she never asked and he never said anything about it. They just spend time with each other, either at St Barts, Baker Street or at her apartment. None of their friend knew about their changing relationship. Sometimes she wish they did, but Sherlock always said that it wasn’t their business. What they had was their thing. He loved her, she loved him – why should they tell everyone?

But this didn’t mean that he tried to hide it. Sometimes when he entered the morgue he just walked up to her and snogged her breathless. It happened those times when he was alone, but she didn’t put much thought in it. They were both busy which meant that they usually didn’t have time to spend outside their apartments or at work, and it wasn’t professional to show their affection while working. All their friends were from work so maybe that was why no one know about it yet …

 

. . .

 

Molly Hooper was a mysterium to him, he couldn’t deduce what she was thinking, feeling and it bothered him.

Sherlock turned around in the bed and groaned into the pillow of frustration. He could hear the shower start in the bathroom. Maybe he could join her? Then he reminded himself of the fact that she was upset with him, god know why, but she was. But, maybe he could do it anyway? What was the worst that could happen? She threw him out, and well he could live with that. Sooner or later she would forgive him, she always did.

Sherlock jumped out of bed and made his way over to the bathroom. The door was locked.

 ”Stupid,” he mumbled and then went into the kitchen and got a knife. Her bathroom lock was easy to pick.

He opened the door and went inside, Molly squealed of suprise when he put his hands on her hips. He kissed her neck. Trailed kisses along her neck and down her collarbone. She groaned softly.

 ”What the hell Sherlock …” Molly said and turned. ”I locked the door.”

 ”I picked it.”

 ”You stupid man.”

Then he kissed her, she gave in almost admittedly. Opened her mouth and leaned into his arms, he depended the kiss which was met with a happy sighed from her. He never got used to the feelings that swirled inside him when he kissed her. It was like time and room disappeared, his mind went quiet and it felt almost peaceful.

 ”Sherlock …” Molly said, she broke the kiss. ”You know you can’t kiss me every time we are having an disagreement. It wont solve things, we need to talk.”

 ”Later,” he said and kissed her.

 ”Later,” she responded.

Now they needed to just get lost in each other. Sherlock felt a desire he couldn’t quite understand. It was like Molly made him whole. Without her he would be lost. It was strange. Sherlock Holmes usually wouldn’t need anyone else, except for Molly.

_Emotional content, Sherlock … It destroys you, every time._


End file.
